As coaches, we hear some version of this all the time.
“My organization is different.”
“That might work elsewhere, but not here.”
“The politics make it almost impossible.”
Usually, these observations contain some truth. Organizations do have different cultures. Some are more hierarchical. Some are more risk-averse. Some reward candor; others punish it. Context does matter.
But these statements reflect a kind of exceptionalism. Not the exceptionalism that makes us special, but one that convinces us our constraints are unique.
We tell ourselves that our particular workplace, our particular boss, our particular culture creates obstacles unlike anyone else’s. And because those obstacles are unique, the usual solutions won’t work. Change becomes impossible before we’ve even attempted it.
Our culture becomes both the constraint and the justification for remaining constrained.
But exceptionalism thrives when you only look within. We’ve found that it breaks down when you gather with leaders from different industries, organizations, countries, and cultures. We see this in our cohort-based leadership program. A VP in healthcare describes challenges that a Senior Director from the tech sector resonates with. A public sector Executive Director chimes in, as does someone from retail and fashion. They’re all facing the same issue. The details differ, but the patterns are the same. This is particularly interesting for women leaders who are navigating similar cultural patterns and challenges.
It’s easy to think that your culture is the reason change is difficult, but when you see that everyone feels constrained by politics, expectations, traditions, and unwritten rules, you discover you’re not alone.
This is one of the hidden gifts of a cohort experience. It normalizes what feels exceptional.
The challenge you’ve been treating as unique turns out to be remarkably common.
Something else happens as well. You see others overcome the challenge you thought was impossible. You see people leading through perceived cultural constraints. You see colleagues having difficult conversations, influencing stakeholders, and challenging assumptions. You see others stepping beyond the boundaries you once assumed were fixed. And it’s not because their culture is any easier, or that they have more authority, or are immune to risk.
It’s because they’ve discovered that yes, a culture is tough to change, but it’s also a story we tell ourselves about what’s possible. And stories can be changed and challenged.
It’s easier to believe that culture is the entire explanation. If the problem is entirely external, then the solution must also be external. But leadership development often begins with a more difficult realization: while culture shapes us, we also participate in maintaining it.
The limits we experience are not always the same as the limits that actually exist. And sometimes what we need most is not another model, framework, or technique. We need to see someone like us facing a similar constraint and acting anyway.
That’s the beauty of learning in a community. You discover that your challenge is universal, not exceptional. And that your job as a leader is to help the context and culture evolve and not just react to it.
That’s why we are such big believers in cohort-based learning. Leadership is difficult to develop in isolation. We need mirrors, examples, and perspectives that challenge the stories we’ve come to accept about ourselves, about our organizations, and about what’s possible.